I’ve now lost my football friend. A family has lost a husband, father, son, son-in-law, brother, brother-in-law, uncle, nephew, and cousin.

Terry passed away suddenly on September 1, and he is going to be deeply missed. 

Terry was the brother-in-law of my good friend, Mount St. Joseph head football coach, Rod Huber. Terry was the father of our Mount student - part of our Mount family - Kristian Mullins. Kris is a wonderful student and, to me, he’s a walking encyclopedic memory-box of sports statistics, records, moves, and sources. Kris has an amazing mind, and I know Terry was proud of him and his sister Makenzie. And I always knew how fond Terry was of the seasonal road trips with his wife Kathy. It was a party.

Terry was more than loved, and the turnout Sept. 6 at E.C. Nurre Funeral Home in Amelia, Ohio, sealed it. The family, friends, and acquaintances paying last respects culminated in a line winding far out into the parking lot.  They got to view the Shining Lion at the funeral home going out in his MSJ Lions’ football cap and blue shirt, logo pristine, football to his side. The team won its first game of the season Sept. 4, so he went out a winner. It was right.

Terry was buried Sept. 7 in Pierce Township Cemetery after a service at Amelia United Methodist Church.

Terry and I always made a concerted effort to share our views of the game. We knew players. We knew plays and schemes and audibles. Terry was a lifer. As Hubie talked to me, I could sense the loss, but I could also sense his confidence in knowing his brother-in-law’s presence in his memory will energize him more than ever. He said, ”Jeff, other than my father, Terry was my biggest fan.” I believe it. Terry loved coach. He loved his family. He loved players and he cared deeply about winning, which is exactly the aura that permeates Mount St. Joe football.

I heard about Terry’s death when Rod caught me in the lockerroom/office complex hallway on gameday, Sept. 4. Rod fumbled for words and I was too stunned to talk. I was looking for Terry. “It all happened too fast,” coach said. “Terry wasn’t sick. We’re beside ourselves.”

The moment of silence before the game in reverance to Terry. The absence of him on the sideline. I may have reveled in the game, yet, missing Terry, I constantly thought of him.

On game day, Terry, I’ll miss you. There was never a time when I didn’t learn from you.

Lebron James’ own transformation has begun. He’s shifting his hope of injecting championship blood into the Miami Heat.

The drumroll is over. Let’s get back to reality.

I adore the Cleveland Cavaliers in spite of James’ departure. My favorite player in the league - my friend Leon Powe - is a Cleveland Cavalier. And he is a champion, with a ring, a member of the 2008 NBA champion Boston Celtics.

In fact, although Leon was out half of last season recovering from knee surgery, he is the type of player that would want to put a team on his back and carry them as far as he could.  Even in his role-playing capacity. He has championship blood that goes way back to Oakland.

Cheers, Leon: it will be ok. You know it, too. Cleveland: it will be ok. You will rebound. You always do. Don’t boycott The Q or the Cavs just because this comes as surreality to you. Stay strong.

I don’t believe Lebron dumped. Kevin Garnett left the Minnesota Timberwolves to capitalize on the chance to get a championship in Boston. This hurt Minnesotans. Players shift. Free agency reigns. I know the scars run historically deep in Cleveland, yet they don’t define the city, and neither does Lebron.

I don’t believe he dumped. The virtue of sacrifice in the life of a mega-celebrity is rare. When the smoke clears, and it could take years, I believe many will see that Lebron simply made a choice to dumb-down the money side of his gains - because he has enough money for his childrens’ great-grandchildren - in order to win sequential championships with the Miami Heat.

When is it against the law for an athlete to want to play for another team and live in another place? Moves happen daily. Even high school players are moving right now, this summer, to other schools in order to maximize their chance of playing. Every day. Constantly. Either they were recruited or they chose to move. College athletes are moving, transferring transcripts. Constantly.

Lebron’s move is just illuminated in a more pervasive, blinding light of glitz. Mega-media-created. Ratings/glitz/star-gazing/fantasy/vicarious-living matters to many millions.

Lebron contributed mightily to the glitz. He crafted a significant pillar of it. The Decision, aired on ESPN, was all Lebron and management. Live through me, Lebron was saying. I’m the man. It’s my summer and I’ll designate some of it to Boys and Girls Club.

The smokescreen shrouding the glitz worked: Lebron was shrewd enough to shift glaring eyes to the Boys and Girls Club of America. The organization profited from the ad proceeds from last night’s airing. That’s thoughtful, even as a cool ploy to deflect a ton of negativity.

Even though Clevelanders don’t view it as sacrifice, it is understandable. Loyalty, as it exists in our midwestern sensibility, is impossible to describe. It festers deep in the DNA of the heartland. Loyalty, especially as it exists in Ohio sports, can be paralyzing.

To Clevelanders - and northern Ohioans - Lebron ripped the L-o-y-a-l out of loyalty. Right now, healing is a non-thought.

The announcement July 7 at 9:20 p.m. that he is leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers to sign a contract with the Miami Heat is no major surprise. Too many elements have foretold this path toward transformation.

I also believe Lebron realized this move would happen months ago. Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, and Lebron go back too far for it not to have been hatched as an absolute reality some day - no matter what these three guys are saying. They know. When you hoop with others for a period and form bonds, you want to continuing playing if the right venue materializes.

Also, when the smoke clears, I do believe one more thing: Lebron will continue to do for kids. He has that heart. He does care about youth. This personal trait is not a smokescreen.

She might have been doodling during courtroom testimony, according to a few witnesses in the room.

I know there is brilliance beneath her fiendish addiction. These, though, are the slight memories of Judge Marsha Revel’s courtroom where, on July 7, Lohan was sentenced to a 90-day term in jail followed by mandatory 90-day in-house drug and alcohol rehabilitiation. The latter 90 days is knows as “lockdown rehab.” The sentencing comes after Lohan violated her probation. 

I agree with many posts that this is a fairly harsh sentence. Yet it’s within sentencing guidelines. LiLo is furious, currently Twittering all manner of outrage, citing parts of the now 15-year old U.S. sentencing guidelines, directing twitter followers to be as outraged as she is.

I’m sure she is ticked. Most addicts, when busted, are. It’s too bad that LiLo is so overwhelmingly emotionally incarcerated that she cannot grasp she has a problem. If she does acknowledge it, she’s not holding herself accountable.

She’s textbook.

Actually, Lohan will spend about 25% of her 90 days in the country facility. She will dry out somewhat. She’ll make a few friends. She’ll scratch a few autographs. She will be told what to do by Corrections Officers, but I suspect she’ll turn on her naturally gifted charm and manipulate the confines of the jail in the way that most benefits her.

Here is what I hope will happen: Lohan will meet an addict or two or three that, indescribably, have committed to changing their entire thinking. Their entire consciousness. Re-altering their mind to accept only pro-active, permanently healthy choices that will change their entire being.

I hope that an indescribable vibe compels LiLo to take stock. It would be radical. No one is betting on this scenario. No one is betting on her to win. Ever.

That is, I hope she meets a few addicts who have said, “Enough.” And they say, “Lindsay, I’ve played that game for years, too. I just don’t have your millions. But I ripped through everything and everyone possible to satisfy myself. I was a constant. But I’m done. I see better. I know there’s better. It’s a longshot because no one believes me, or believes I can change. But that’s not a distraction. I’m better for myself. I can reach down. I’m going radical in ways I address my life - radical in healthy. No matter the odds. No matter the haters. I have a lot of haters. But it comes down to me and death. I want to live. Hey, can I say a quick prayer for you, Linz?”

And with those words, I can imagine a surge occuring in Lohan’s spirit. I know it’s a longshot. But, in mentoring many inmates over the years, I know the impossible can be stricken down. As for LiLo, it’s ok to imagine.  

LiLo watchers typically write her off: great incomparable talent, when sober and focused. A wench-of-an-addict when her true colors rise, which is mostly daily. Sure, she’s so bound up with shame, with angst, with guilt, with low self-esteem, and with control (control-freakishness) that her constant addictive behavior is just a more pronounced acting-out because it’s on a global-celebrity scale.

Bottom line: a drunk is a drunk.

LiLo will not change her thinking - and subsequently her behavior - unless she wants to. No jail time will inspire her to change. No rehab will encourage her. They are places where only she can sit down and dry out. The desire to change must come from within. There must be a transformation of spirit. Of consciousness.

I think her body and mind would have been better served had she been sentenced to 120 days lockdown rehab.

Anyway, she is a human being. Look her skin in the TMZ close-ups. Look at her eyes. They’re teared up. This is a broken human being, and there are a million incarcerated individuals that are broken. There are millions and millions of emotionally (not physically) incarcerated individuals that are broken. Millions. Lohan only has name recognition.

An alcoholic, LiLo’s poor choice to constantly drink and regularly drive after drinking have resulted, for instance, in the two 2007 arrests that really put her problem on the map. Prior to 2007, she was accuing the bad juju, diving unabashedly into party after party after party. Living the life.

I’m not worried about LiLo. She will either make it, or she won’t.

Michael Vick’s legacy continues to take a black eye, and it’s increasingly unfortunate that he doesn’t seem to be able to make pro-active choices that prevent him from becoming the center of bad news.

A question logically comes: has Michael Vick learned from his incarceration?

Probably not totally, if reports are accurate and placing Vick at this club on the occasion of his 30th birthday and a shooting, which police are still investigating. Mike Vick: a man still amid possible danger and even potential violence.

Listen, if his thinking has truly changed from clearly putting himself in possible to eliminating all possibilities for clear trouble, then he would not have been at the club - no matter what.  No matter what (even if that meant a quiet birthday on his 30th; he is an ex-felon who must watch his step every place he does step).

Why “probably not?” Why wouldn’t Vick’s  21-month incarceration teach him to think differently? Because incarceration is not an enviornment which is set up to tactically teach anything. It is punitive. It is dark. It is not worthy of rehabilitation per se. It does not have an agenda to formally help any inmate. Incarceration is there for the sake of punishment.

A prison inmate can serve two, ten, or twenty years, ignore all manner of guidance, and become even more abusive than when he or she was initially incarcerated.

I wrote a similar blog the other day on Cincinnati Bengals player, Cedric Benson, who was arrested several weeks ago in Austin, Texas.  Why? At the very bottom for making an extremely unwise life choice. And he knew better, too.

Vick may know little or nothing about the shooting.  But it doesn’t matter. Who he chose to include in his party means everything. Who he surrounds himself with means everything. Known-by-association. Known-by-your-crew. Known-by-your-homies. Mike, did you think about whom you were going to let into your private party?

If one wants to alter his or her thinking in prison or jail, the person must take the initiative to find educational or pro-active programs. Prison inself will not point you in a positive direction.

And then, upon re-entering society, the former inmate must continue forging that positivity. He or she must seek out the right people to know and hang with.  It is a must, or else the chance to commit another offense is within reach.

That’s a problem to begin with. When one is in jail or prison, a sense of hopelessness often surfaces. It festers. If the inmate had self-esteem issues before incarceration, they’re multiplied ten-fold in prison. Many inmates sit and cook. They decline self help. They stew. They run their games. They inflict non-hope on others. They exert control in whatever intensified realm they can. The typical inmate offers dissension.

Whether Mike Vick has truly changed his thinking is debatable.  I personally believe he’s more vulnerable now than ever before.  I think his attitude is, “I did my time, I’m back in the League, and I’ll be ok.”  Ok is not good enough.  Ok besets vulnerability.  Ok is a fluke.  Just-being-ok is going to jeopardize Vick’s so-called new-life-after-prison.

I hope that coach Tony Dungy can weigh in more as a mentor for Mike Vick.  It started this way.  Even Dungy said the other day that Vick “used poor judgement.” Is Coach Dungy, a man I respect immensely, still in Vick’s life?  Or has Mike Vick only put him on speed dial in case he gets in dire straits?  Good question.

Where is Michael Vick’s positive support framework, those individuals espousing healthy choice-making?  They’re not likely at this club where his situation went down recently.  They’re apparently not on Mike Vick’s speed dial.

Now, Tracie Hunter, a gifted and dedicated community advocate, senior pastor, and volunteer legal advisor to youth, is running for Common Pleas judge of the Juvenile Court Division of Hamilton County (Ohio). She should be elected. Her plans are unique, and I know they will impact communities.

She is planning several campaign walks and stops this July 4th weekend. Her website has more information.

Tracie Hunter is not just a politician, although her political savvy could get her elected on November 2 as the first African American judge in Hamilton County Juvenile Court. I truly support this opportunity.

On Friday, July 2nd, at 6:00 in Madeira, Tracie will be walking with a group beginning at the presbyterian church on the corner of Miami and Galbraith Roads.

On Saturday, she’ll meet citizens in the Equinox Cincinnati Parade in Northside at 11:00 a.m.  On Sunday, a parade in Golf Manor (see her website), and on Monday, another walk. 

She’s as active as she can be this campaign season, because she plans to upset the long-held establishment of juvenile court judges that has done little to combat youth crime and deliquency.

Tracie Hunter’s plans are significant. She elaborates on her Four-Point plan here. You need to know that I’ve heard her speak about these plans to youths. Tracie was recently a guest speaker in my summer course at the College of Mount St. Joseph in the S.C.O.P.E. program. I had 17 students and Tracie resonated with each of them, encouraging them to pursue their dreams and goals.

Make sure to take your time getting to know Tracie Hunter, for now, through her website. The Cincinnati Herald published a wonderful profile of her. The Enquirer did a piece on her in 2010, at the time of a city-wide crisis that followed a tragic homicide.

Tracie Hunter should be elected. I know she’s earnest, capable, and adamant about re-investing in our youth. She loves the city, and she cares about children and their families.

Even more, it’s an added, perfect example of the physically incarcerated individual - Benson, a Cincinnati Bengal (who posted bond) - maintaining his personally acceptable mental incarceration. Benson reveals the proof. His thinking - his mental priorities - have not changed. He’s still incarcerated in the context of his thinking.

Remember, physical incarceration (jail, prison) as an environment is not rehabilitative in any way, shape, or form. It does not itself help one change his or her thinking. It’s an environment of punishment. Facilities do not have a goal in mind to rehabilitate an inmate.

Programs, education, and counseling assistance are available, but the inmate must make that choice. The inmate’s move to get a G.E.D. or acquire skills depends upon positive thinking. Pro-active choice-making. It involves the inmate’s clarity of mind. It involves the individual’s disposition. Jail or prison alone, as entities, do not exist for the purpose of rehab. They are bleak, frightening, and non-instructive places.

How does Benson fit in? His thinking is negative.  It’s anti-social, not pro-social. He’s no stranger to physical incarceration because his negative thinking prompts him to act derisively. He’s routinely been incarcerated. (And I use him because he’s the most recent example of an N.F.L. player-gone-ballistic-in-a-club. His recent arrest just hit the media.)

We know that thinking determines behavior. In the course, The Psychology of Incarceration, which I team-taught a few years ago in a Columbus women’s prison, we carefully, over many weeks, emphasized the transformative power of thinking and how subsequent actions are a result of the thinking.

For example, when you are released from prison, you do not have to return to that environment which got you into trouble. No matter what. No matter what is said. No matter what past examples appear in front of you. No matter who is whispering in your ear, “You’re a loser. You have no where else to go.” Yes, you do. You have other places to go. If you think - or choose - not to return to a problematic environment, then you will not do so. There are tons of options. You have to know the options.

There are only two types of determinate thinking: negative and positive. Your choices in life depend upon your thinking about them. Cedric Benson’s thinking has not changed. How so? In this way: Because going into a bar several years ago got him into legal trouble, he should be thinking, “If I go into a bar, given my quick temper, I might get into trouble. I might get arrested if something goes down. I could jeopardize my playing time. I could jeopardize my career. I might lose big money. I might lose good friends. I might lose my support on the Bengals. So, I’m changing. I’m staying away. I need the money. I don’t need the trouble. In fact, I’ll remain healthy as a result of not possibly putting my life on the line in this club. I’ll choose to stay away from potential trouble, which I’ve been privy to experiencing in recent years.”

Let’s say Benson has every opportunity to think in this manner.

Now, thinking or focusing on such a notion is a pro-active step. It’s positive thinking. It eliminates the possibility for real trouble. Benson, if he were thinking this way, would ensure that he would not go into the very club in which the recent trouble occurred.

And it’s possible to think pro-actively. Why not? Recently, in Cincinnati, Reds’ second baseman Brandon Phillips was cuffed and taken to a northern Kentucky jail for a short period of time as a result of a misdemeanor traffic violation. He chose not to curse the officers. He chose politeness. He chose not to cause a disruption. He chose to think positively - not negatively. He did his work and was released. 

I mentor a number of former inmates that have unabashedly adopted this thinking, or transformative change of consciousness. It’s in fact an entire change of consciousness.

As long as Benson (or any other high-profile player in repetitive trouble) holds onto negative thinking, he will always be prone to trouble. He will find it. Don’t be surprised to see Cedric Benson’s name pop up in troublesome light again in five years, or five months. We know he’ll never be the only one, either.

Karyn will have her first book signing for the new book on Saturday, July 10, at 2:00 p.m. at Border’s Bookstore in the Crestview Hills Town Center in beautiful Crestview, Kentucky (northern KY).

Mark that date. I urge you not to miss this chance to meet Karyn and get this extraordinary new memoir.

It’s Karyn’s second book and depicts the continuing saga of her tumultuous relationship with God initially explored in her first book, Familiar Spirits.   In that book, she recounts the consequences and horror that dominated her youth when familiar spirits, or, as we should know them, demons, unsuspectingly invaded her life as a child, in addition to a couple of siblings and friends.

Karyn is a survivor, and Familiar Spirits rings not with a bleak tone comprised of gratuitous or graphic scenes, but with a triumphant sense of recognizing that she could gain a new life when God entered it at a pivotal point. There are bleak moments, though they emerge in the natural way she battled against them.

The writing in both books is in no way chicken-soupish. There’s no fluff. This life is real. You can question or object. Still, you can’t fathom what reportedly, in Karyn’s life, were ghoulish days and nights of struggle. You can’t imagine one person has been ravaged in these ways.

As with Familiar Spirits, the new memoir Mad at God takes the reader to a new level of Karyn’s battles; it’s a look into how these spirits hated to let go and how she finally came to grips with who God is and the way he exerts his love, even in times of one’s extreme doubt.

In the coming weeks, we’ll feature more news about the book, discuss the ways in which Karyn’s delivery from demon possession changed her life and thinking, and how she’s using her gifts to help others. For one thing, she’s writing passionately and acquiring new readers all the time. She wants to reach.

Karyn’s life is miraculous for many reasons. One is that she does helps others in life-changing ways as executive director of Winfield House in Augusta, Kentucky. In her work, numerous formerly incarcerated individuals, as well as homeless and alienated individuals and youth, have been assisted and guided by her blessed wisdom and humanity.

Read her columns in RED!  They make perfect companion pieces to her two books, which are must-reads.

Specialists in recrimination art

The exhibit features the genius and work of the late Jimmy Heath, activist, photographer, and former editor of Streetvibes.

It is a must-see show.  The exhibition runs through July 11.  The address is at 1219 Sycamore Street, Over-the-Rhine (downtown Cincinnati).  1:00 - 4:00 Sundays.

Today I celebrate the recent achievement of my daughter, Chelsea. It’s impeccable and deserving recognition, not simply because she’s my daughter, but because a core of wonderfully wise faculty at the School for Creative and Performing Arts realize my daughter’s vocal arts and performance capability, as well as her academic proficiency.

Recently, Chelsea was awarded the Eastman School of Music Award for academic year 2009-10 Music Student of the Year at SCPA.

It’s the most prestigious, yearly music award a student at SCPA can receive. The award recognizes one high school junior “…for musical achievements while a student at SCPA.”

Chelsea’s award bears the comment, “Your accomplishments reflect your talent and perseverance, as well as the guidance and support of your teachers. We offer our congratulations to you for having been named winner of the Eastman Award.”

She’s such a responsible and pro-active young woman. She takes pride in her studies, in her singing and performing, and in her friends’ activities and accomplishments. She sets goals. She accomplishes goals. She’s an independent thinker and self-motivated. And one of her greatest attributes is her desire to help others, to serve others.

Chelsea, above all, in the way her net of friendships is cast fairly wide, has basically a servant’s heart.

This is a trait her teachers did not overlook; cudos to them.  One simple example: she dances competitively with Northwest Productions (NWP), on the Senior team, where she also takes a special interest in mentoring elementary students on the younger NWP squad. She also teaches vocal music to classmates and younger students at SCPA when time permits, or when she’s asked to do so. She’s been involved with a number of service projects over the years.

Chelsea has been able to balance her National Honor Society undertakings with large and small-scale SCPA performances, in addition to all the other things she takes on. Balance is key. She’s a natural at balancing her time and priorities. There are a lot of committments involved, but as her father, I’ve been impressed with the way she selects and prioritizes - as a 17-year old. No small feat.

Far more than several occasions have occurred over her 17 years to momentarily slow me down long enough to really deeply absorb the things my daughter does. To see into her gifts.

Three recent occasions do stand out: since her freshman year, she has sung in SCPA’s award-winning, 10-girl acappella group, Baby Grands  (her most momentous singing surely occurs here), and it’s always a blessing to watch them perform. Her vocal teacher, Ms. Wyant, deserves all the credit for also giving wings to Chelsea’s singing. Secondly, as a sophomore, she played Lucy in “You’re a Good Friend, Charlie Brown,” a spring 2009, 13th & Broadway production at SCPA, in which her knock-out performance thrust her acting to a new level - to a comedic high.

I’m jazzed by the many times I’ve heard her play trumpet. The occasions are rich in my mind. I also played trumpet when I was her age, although I try hard not to plop down in her space all those years that I blew the horn. She got that gene, and that’s what I’m thankful for.

Chelsea also, from time to time, as a copy editor, helps me proofread pieces for RED!

It’s fascinating for a parent to watch a child’s progress. For me and for her mother, it’s an endless joy ride to see Chelsea excel and to know that her giving teachers are so closely tied to her success.  She loves her school and it also endlessly shows.

It’s the most substantive and compelling true crime-oriented TV show in recent years.  Here’s the trailer. 

This week the third show is airing at 10:00 p.m. (est) on the Investigation Discovery (ID) channel. 

As a longtime friend of Aphrodite, I know her non-fiction work well. I was fortunate to spend some time with her in Cincinnati, Ohio as she heavily researched her best-selling 1998 book, Della’s Web. It was a joy to watch her work and to talk with her about her research methods. A former professor, she’s a natural teacher, too, a natural communicator. Her gifts are many. She has been writing since she was a young girl, and her new show is an extension of her storytelling skills. Her audience simply grows.

Aphrodite has written eight best-selling, true-crime books to date, inarguably catapulting her into the arena of one of the most absorbing and authoritative writers of crime in the country. Among the books is her most investigation into the problematic 2005 criminal trial for alleged child sexual abuse; “Michael Jackson Conspiracy” is a fascinating look at the likelihood of dubious charges and case against the pop music’s late, great singer and entertainer. 

Yes. Watch my friend’s new intense show. ID is giving it deserving attention on its website. 

The first two shows included her investigation of the Scott Peterson case and O.J. Simpson’s extraordinary fall from grace and events leading up to his current incarceration in a Nevada prison. Most impressive with the O.J. show were the interviews with Simpson’s former agent Mike Gilbert (incredibly new information) and members of the Goldman family.

Aphrodite has made a transition successfully into this medium as a result of persistent hard work and determination. She is equally determined to help others along the way. Although it’s been quite a few years since I’ve seen her, I always observed the caring way that Aphrodite treated interviewees, victims of crime, and numerous others who might have unexpectedly entered the world of her stories.

I had no idea that I’d be able to help her with early considerations for the story that became Della’s Web. It was unexpected, and yet I observed a writer whose work in the darkness of crime never obstructed her from offering compassion and generosity to others.

I’m happy for the positive buzz her new show is getting, and for her continuing rise in real television journalism. As sound-byte-frigid as most TV journalism is, True Crime with Aphrodite Jones, in spite of commercials, defies that frigidity. Her show is not the norm; it’s original and fresh.

The show goes deep to capture intimate moments in some stories she’s covered in book form and in many new stories (O.J. Simpson and the Zodiac Killer) she’s explored. Aphrodite is interested in the unexplored human quotient inside of tragic situations. She’s not in to drudging up new spheres of gossip. She’s not interested in re-hashing old print.

Cheers to you, Aphrodite. We’ll keep watching - and reading.